Hold on, Harutora-kun: a study is the right kind of youthful eros

The Japanese BL Hold On, Harutora-kun. And I have to say, it took me by surprise. It blew me away a little later in the episodes, but I have to say: the main leads are so well matched, so well cast, that I’m just so happy I was pleasantly surprised.
The first episode starts with the main character, Sui, the bottom, essentially, wearing a face mask. I did not really know the backstory of this show. I had not read the blurb properly, but I was in the mood for something new, so I thought, “You know what? Why the hell not?”

I don’t know what is in the water at the moment, but I watched two K-dramas consecutively and then moved on to BLs on Viki. And Hold On, Harutora-kun really took me by surprise. If I had known they got intimate quite early on, I probably would have chosen a different J-BL to watch first, because I have quite a few on Viki now. I’m so pleased that they do not hide them away like they used to.
But the first thing that struck me about this show was the progression from “Okay, we’re roommates” to everything that follows. One of the characters is openly gay at school. He gets teased for it by his so-called friends, and that was quite surprising at the beginning.

Those people felt less like actual friends and more like friends in proximity. You know the type: those East Asian friend groups in manga and anime where the dynamic is weird, everybody keeps hanging out together, and you are constantly asking yourself, “Why are these people friends?” Because they clearly do not all like each other. Some of them are bullying one person in the group. Within East Asian media, that kind of dynamic can pop up consistently. But from a Western perspective, we would not necessarily call that friendship. We would call it a toxic situation: staying close to people who tease you, target you, and say unkind things under the excuse of “joking.”
And I do not like watching sad stories where people are being bullied. It is too sad. The world is already too real. When I watch shows, I prefer escapism. Although I appreciate why these stories are important. Someone in that situation might watch a character like Sui and realise, “I am like this character, and it would not be healthy for me to keep carrying on in this situation.” Whether the relationship is platonic or romantic, being around people who make you feel small is not friendship. So that was one aspect that struck me from the beginning because I did not like it. But I did appreciate how brave the show was in starting with one of the main characters being openly gay and not hiding it.

Because another thing you sometimes see in BL is that the norm is to hide it, not talk about it, or pretend it is not happening. And I found it refreshing that Hold On, Harutora-kun did not do that. The wider environment is not suddenly acting like being gay is completely fine and universally accepted. That would not have felt believable. But the show does not make the entire story about outside cruelty either. It focuses more on the people immediately around Sui and Harutora, and on what happens when support, love, and acceptance are possible. That felt quite refreshing.

As for the second male lead, Harutora, who I would say is the top, he is younger as well. And I do love an older bottom and younger top dynamic. The younger top is so cute, so attractive, with a gorgeous smile. And I feel like, lately, East Asian media: Japanese and Korean media, is really letting the boys shine. They are showing off their bodies a little more. Before, it was like, “Here is a little shoulder.” Now K-dramas and J-dramas are like, “Check out the abs. Check out the shoulders. Check out the muscles.”
I feel like they are in their buff era. They are not as conservative as before. Although, actually, Japanese media has always been a little wilder, a little hotter, a little sexier than Korean media, in my opinion. But it feels more prevalent now that they are celebrating men’s physical fitness and leaning into the lover-girl side of things.
Western media is overdone with it. Every other second, we are getting some hyper-sexualised version of it. But with Japanese and Korean media, even though it is more present now, it does not feel like it replaces plot, story, or genuinely good storytelling. And I was pleased about that.

Sui, the older bottom, is more of a cute, soft type. The actor really acted it out well because it felt true. He did not have to overact to get the point across that he is insecure, that he is sad about being teased by his friends, and that it takes courage to be openly gay while being teased for it in an all-boys school. And then losing roommates as well. As soon as the so-called friends are like, “Oh yeah, you know he’s gay, right? He must want to fuck you,” and making those kinds of jokes, some of his “friends” did make comments like that. The actor who play Sui the bottom, played all the little nuances so well without having to say everything out loud. He embodied that insecure but “this is me” energy. Like, “Ha ha, I better laugh because I’m trying to survive. Let me make this awkward situation less awkward.” 

And then Harutora is so  different. He comes in hot, sorry, the younger top is hot. He is gorgeous. And he is immediately like, “Oh my God, senpai. Let’s hang out. Show me. Is this okay?” Harutora, the top, is more confident, and it is not until later that you realise this is not going to be one of those stories where the top who looks or presents as heterosexual is suddenly not heterosexual. He has already had his moments of being like, “Yeah, I like guys.” But he does not force that on Sui. He does not pressure him. And that is another beautiful thing: Harutora’s family is supportive. They even have a little video call with his mum, and he comes from a big family. Even though he is from a big family and he is the big brother, he feels lonely. He feels like he cannot be childish. He has to be responsible. He has to be the older brother. He has to be stoic.
Then there is this scene where he talks about how lonely he felt. He cries. And Sui tells him, “You can grow up later. It’s fine. You do not have to be all grown up.” I liked that moment because it encapsulates how important it is to meet the person you can be vulnerable with. The person who gives you the thing you have most wanted or missed. Not necessarily a missing piece in some grand, dramatic way, but a missing piece in the sense that they understand a part of you that you have had to hide. And it was beautiful.

Then with Sui, the older bottom: he is out at his all-boys school, but he is not out to his mum. After seeing Harutora’s family and how supportive they are of him, even though he likes boys, he finally finds the courage to come out to his mum after a parent-teacher meeting. He just does it. Because he thinks, “If Harutora’s mum can be supportive, if his family can be supportive, maybe my mum will be supportive too.”
Obviously, his mum is a bit shocked. Thankfully, they did not script it so that she says something horrible. I have not finished episode eight yet, but I like how, in episode eight, he keeps thinking back to the look on his mum’s face after he tells her that he only likes boys. So, all in all, this little show is so well done.

Their kisses, their first time together, even the moments before their first time together, are so poignant. Both of them are uncertain. There is the miscommunication where Harutora says, “Oh my God, sorry, I can’t do this. I’m running away.” And Sui thinks, “Oh my God, he thinks I’m gross. He doesn’t like it. It’s probably me.” But it turns out Harutora is just super nervous about his size, and about making love to his boyfriend, who he is super attracted to. Not obsessed with, but deeply attracted to. He has performance anxiety, which leads to confusion. But again, this is such a realistic, beautiful story of coming into yourself and meeting someone who loves, cares for, and respects you, and vice versa. Both of them have their little insecurities, and they work it out together. This person helps you through it, not necessarily by holding your hand through everything, but by living life alongside you and helping you grow. Helping you handle whatever you are dealing with.I thought that was really well done.

It is such a heart-warming story. It is the perfect length for what it is, and they really got the balance right: the physicality, the emotions, the complexities of human relationships, both platonic and romantic, and how they chose to frame it.
Because the reality is that much of Japan is still not comfortable with out people. But there are still people who will support you. You can still fall in love and find another man who also likes men, who can like you, cherish you, respect you, and have great desire for you.

So those are my thoughts on Hold On, Harutora-kun. It is only eight episodes, it is tender, it is hot in all the right places, and it left me feeling very soft. 

What were your thoughts on Hold on, Harutora-kun?